ground control to maj tom

Man! Riding a nitrous high is pretty funky. Afterward I look and feel like a stroke victim. Not to be unkind (which of course means it will sound unkind), but it makes me think about that lady who has a a quilting show on KERA. You look at her and think she appears more or less "normal", but there's a hint of a down turned mouth on the left side and a half smile when she is happy with a particularly fancy stitch, or maybe she is fantasizing about getting gas at the dentist

I once called my friend's message machine to record how I sounded in this state. Had I been more lucid, I'd have called my own house, then I could have incorporated it into my outgoing message.

Last time I was in, I was a little apprehensive about driving home all hopped up on gas, but Robin, the asst, is always really good about flushing the mask with oxygen which also feels funky cool. I used to hate the dentist. Now I love that my insurance company pays for me to get high. Is that wrong. Oh, I don't really care.

XM radio is a trip in and of itself. Melissa Manchester, Barry Manilow, the BeeGes, Seals and Croft, Karen Carpenter and Olivia Newton-John sound phenomenal when you're wearing that space mask, inhaling as hard as you are able when you can remember to. Every time a new song comes on the satellite channel, I'm all like "dooood, I know this one!" Wanting her to find about 7 more spots in my mouth to do something to, I just lay there all goofy, paralyzed and looped. Kenny Loggins knows N2O makes him look good.

The boys usually get it, too, just a much less concentrated dose. It's like a power to weight ratio math thing. Jeremiah, pupils bilaterally dilated, once said to me while wearing the object of conveyance, "Mommy, I feel so...relaxed." For someone as tightly wound as that kid, that was quite a statement.

I go in again tomorrow morning. Just anticipating the fun is enough to make my day. That's pretty pathetic. Or not.