delicious. chicken. breast. strips. enlarged to show texture

Once upon a time I worked at a photo studio as production assistant. This is faaaaar removed from assistant producer. A PA gets the coffee, picks up lunch, does the fetching, ironing on the set, picks up the photographer's dogs' crap when photographer needs dogs doggy sat. Essentially bows and curtsies on command. The AP usually does all that ordering about. I should have read the job description more closely.

Every once in a while, I got to actually do a job. If the producer was wanting "real people" as opposed to talent with portfolios with glossy head shots of tilting heads and botoxed/collagened lovely ladies, I'd throw my Polaroid in the pile. A few times I got lucky and made some pretty decent money. As opposed to what I make now.

The most lucrative and memorable job turned into a pseudo regular gig with Weaver Chicken, a division of Tyson. Back then I was still vegetarian. This greatly humored people on set. I didn't think it all that hysterical; I needed the cash. Still, the stylist, hair and make-up lady and photographer's assistants teased mercilessly and were quick to point out the hypocrisy of me taking the money despite my dietary restrictions. I was a hypocrite, no doubt, and I felt shame as I drove all the way to the bank to make those sweet paycheck deposits at broods and broods of chickens' expence. Not really though.

The folks at Weaver used me maybe 5 times, once even when I was pregnant about to lay my first egg. That time, a body double was called in, and my "Chicken Mom" head was photoshop'd in. Honest. Pretty wacky.

I was at that job after leaving the public school system where I had taught 6 years. Way beyond burned out, I was flambeed, fricasseed, broiled and then some. So a 180 in the career was way overdue. I knew zero about how that studio worked. Starting fresh is always a little liberating and a lot humbling. Low man on the totem pole is an interesting position to be in. But I liked it for a while. Met some great people and keep up with a few still.

I was fascinated by what an illusion advertising really is, and it's certainly not that I didn't know it before, but to get to see behind the scenes stuff - I live for that sort of thing. I was on jobs where one person was hired solely to sort out the perfect taco chips so each could be individually hot glued to a piece of cardboard to be slid into the never wrinkled celophane bag so each unbroken perfectly triangular chip could be seen in the shot. Enlarged to show texture, naturally.

You'd be surprised how many people it takes to get that perfect photograph of the freckled redhead kid in pajamas pouring syrup on a beautiful perfectly browned stack of pancakes. I ironed those pjs and made those pancakes, by the way. Because I am a professional.