I went down

The name of a good 1997 movie (which i think Guy Ritchie ripped off the very next year when he made Lock, Stock...), and also the action at the crit today. My first biggie-ish crash. Thankfully, my two teammates and I didn't have to use the nearby hospital's facilities, although an ambulance was called to the scene for Bibi, who whacked her head pretty solidly and was acting like a bit of a loca mujer.

We were also worried about Nancy because she was holding her clavicle at first, the all time most popular bike racer bone to be broken it seems. Turns out her bone is ok, but she left many square inches of skin on that curb. The next few showers will sting a bunch no doubt. Nancy, remember, no sea salt exfoliation for a while. Ouch!


The race had gone fairly well up to a half lap to go. I was actually surprised I was still in it. Not having ridden very regularly or with much purpose lately, I figured I'd do my bit, attack as much as I could, and if I got dropped, I got dropped But at 1 to go, there I was, still in and doing ok.

Turn 5 was a wacky turn. There's a lip and a bump and some small metal cover. The group had been doing a pretty decent job pedaling through and not grabbing brakes in the turns throughout the entire race. Of course, the last lap saw the speed ramped up quite a bit. Add to that people getting tired and sloppy, and you have a spooky scenario.

If I was sandwiched, I was obviously not in a very good spot. The girl wide came in too much to miss the outside curb, and the girl tight came out to miss the inside curb. I could feel them before they even touched me. I yelled, as if it could thrust them out of contact range, "I'M HERE, I'M HERE, SHITSHITSHIT!"

And then there was that big bad noise. Impact. Hitting the deck. A little of a skid. Somehow I automatically went all ninja parkour self preservation mode, pulling my knees in and covering my still helmeted noggin with my arms, grabbing my head. I felt two bikes go over me, thankfully with chains on the big ring. And then nothing.

My eyes were closed, and a bunch of different voices were calmly telling all the downed riders to stay still and not squirm too much. At first, I just lay there still in a ball, zero thoughts of hopping up and getting my bike untangled. I didn't think at all about the race at that point. It was painful, and I felt like vomiting. Surprisingly I wasn't crying. I always thought if I ever crashed, I'd start balling out of fear, but it happens way too fast.

Then the goofiest thing. My right arm was in the air. I can only figure I was wanting someone, didn't really care who, to grab it. It is strange I did that. Maybe I thought it was the international sign for help. I did want help. And I wanted someone to hold my hand.

I took a mental inventory, and after I realized all my body parts were still intact, I got really mad. I think I pulled a Tammy and threw my helmet. Got up and extricated my bike from the heap, putting it against the stone wall on the curb. Then I took my shoes off? What the heck is that?

Sock-footed, I start going on and on about my glasses, where are my glasses, I need my favorite glasses, I've had these for 4 years and i don't want to buy another pair. It was a little wigged out, I admit. And then, although I had no phone on me, I asked Bibi if she wanted me to call Rich. Rich was sitting right next to her.

Sorta dazed, I grumbled and put my shoes back on when someone said there was still one place left. Some of us decided we'd roll across even though we were told we would not be DNFd if we didn't. My chain was all macramed in a giant knotted mess, so as soon as it was sorted out, I got on my bike with my helmet askew and rode it in just behind Nancy.

I'm way sore. All over. Here's the battle damage:

Moots -- right shifter turned in, scrapes and messed up bar tape, ragged saddle edge; not too bad
my best and only ever cycling glasses I've miraculously had for 4 whole years -- smashed dangit!
my only team jersey -- a freaking hole in it
head -- knot above temple
right shoulder -- missing a bunch of skin, bruised, very jacked up, hard to lift stuff
right ribs -- tender and skinless in parts
right elbow -- minor abrasion
back -- cuts and scrapes
right butt cheek - pretty scraped and a huge hard goose egg knot in the middle
tail bone -- kinda worried here because this is the most painful part, not broken, but probably massively bruised. sitting is tough. then standing from the sit is worse.

Hmm, this is an excellent time to take my bike in to the shop and get the fork done I think. The Pistachio will be fine on the rollers in the meantime. If I can sit down.

Maybe I will get some pics up if they turn out gnarly enough. Don't you hate it when it feels worse than it looks?