the knights who say "ni"

some are called renaissance festivals. some medieval faires. that seems funny to me because those are clearly separate and distinct time periods. anyway, we drove s on i35 just beyond waxahachie yesterday to get our overpriced soft pretzel on. truly, the people watching at ren faires is unparalleled. to me the costumes at atlanta's dragoncon even come in second. there's something about drunk people wearing gem toned crushed velvet leggings, 2-sizes-too-small corsets, 4-sizes-too-big codpieces, and brandishing weapons while doing their best to speak in perfect meter and rhyme.

the pizza is overpriced and the beers too small. typically it is a hot, muggy day when we do visit, but we can't not go. we are compelled to make the annual pilgrimage to see the same birds of prey show, watch the border collies wrangle their obedient sheep, admire all the conan wannbes (r.i.p. frank frazetta), dodge the soap peddlers and pet the dirty llama.

jeremiah and mason have an armory of katanas, daggers, bastard swords and shields, but never tire of checking out the "new technology" each year we go. amazingly, yesterday we brought home no new weapons of any kind. no spear, mace, axe, halberd, glaive, bow, musket, flail, cat-of-nine tails or iron maiden. i should apply for a discount w my health insurance company.


i like the science show by dr. kaboom. i like how he encourages his audience to participate in his trebuchet finale'. i like his faux austrian accent and genuine love of what he does. i like the more pedestrian and far more low brow mud show relating some of dante's inferno while the performers sling wet clay and shove cold slop down the other actors' shredded muslin peasant pants. i like the glittery, diaphanous fairy wings and painted satyr horns. i like the glass blowing demo. i like the salt encrusted jumbo soft pretzels!


this year, though, my very favorite thing came near the end of the day as we were waiting while jeremiah and mason ran through the maze attraction near the privies which always score a 10 w me for medieval authenticity. anyway, a guy working the kiddie joust ride just across the path, trying to garner interest, begins singing an impressive medley, inserting "joust" or "jousting" into popular song lyrics. and he was busting some moves in his knee high hand mane leather moccasins and loosely laced up poet shirt. maybe it was the heat and humidity, but i could not stop laughing. i hope he is there next year, too.


"Wanna Be Joustin' Somethin'"


[Chorus]
I Said You Wanna Be Joustin' Somethin'
You Got To Be Joustin' Somethin'
I Said You Wanna Be Joustin' Somethin'
You Got To Be Joustin' Somethin'
It's Too High To Get Over (Yeah, Yeah)
Too Low To Get Under (Yeah, Yeah)
You're Stuck In The Middle (Yeah, Yeah)
And The Pain Is Thunder (Yeah, Yeah)
It's Too High To Get Over (Yeah, Yeah)
Too Low To Get Under (Yeah, Yeah)
You're Stuck In The Middle (Yeah, Yeah)
And The Pain Is Thunder...