🕯️s. they just keep a comin'

so, recent developments i have to take into consideration this birthday -- embarrassingly, the dfw fire marshal's office sent me an email earlier today urging me not to light the requisite number this year onnaccounta wildfire risk... and global warming. and they cc'd greta thunberg i think to environment shame me.

as if that weren't offensive enough, audubon also asked me not to light candles because the intense luminosity would not only disturb area bird migration, but also potentially alter some of the more sensitive species' circadian rhythms. W T ever F?!

the exhortation that takes the cake (no pun), however, is nasa requesting that i altogether eschew firing up the wicks because, get this, apparently the heat from the cake's conflagration would send shockwaves into space so significant the iss' orbit would be shifted, disturbing the fragile potatoes-from-poop fertilizer experiment currently being conducted.

   [(🚀+🌌)+(👩‍🚀-💩+🌱)/(🔬*🧪)🟰🥔] >🕯️   

🤷rude! amiright?!

so, i think i'll use the wax saved to make a crapton of hand molds like you used to be able to get at olla podrida in the '70s and '80s.  or, i could donate said wax to madame tussauds so they can restart their stalled-out terracotta armies of qin shi huang installation.