nature v nurture was never really a reasonable debate; it's always been both.

mason was under a lot of self-imposed pressure at the end of the year prepping for 8 ap exams. he graduated end of may.    now he can exhale.

the saturday before graduation, he slept in until pretty late in the morning.  admittedly, i love sleeping in.  still,  i know to do it every day makes it pretty unspecial pretty fast.  i talked with him about considering what he wanted to do with this last summer at home before heading down to tamu.  we talked about having structure in your day and setting goals especially in times when it may not seem necessary or even desirable. it wasn't a preachy talk but more of a you're a free agent with autonomy and agency and you make your life what you want to a great degree, particularly now before you don't have a significant other or big, immediate commitments.

the next day i found a handmade, black sharpie grid/chart on his desk.  wasn't sure what he wanted to log.  after a few days, i realized it was his running log.  he was on day 8.  he's seen me streakridingTM (coming up on day 270!), and the body weight squat stuff, so of course i am pleased he's absorbed those things.  even if he quits at 8 or 9 days, then he has a number to surpass next time. successes build, as we know.  finnegan beginagain is my middle name.  fall down seven times, stand up eight.

my boys know about fitness and nutrition and discipline and working hard. i like to think i have consistently taught and modeled these things all their lives. it has registered.  it is there.   i want them to be happy and healthy, and i also firmly believe healthy choices often lead to happiness.  then the two together self-perpetuate to a degree.  ultimately, for any of our kids to make sound choices all on their own is nearly the entire aim of what our prime directive as parents has been and continues to be.

i would be dishonest to say my kids' choices always please or even satisfy me.  i can be a ball-busting taskmaster, and i am not ashamed to say it.  i also have a temper which often gets me in trouble, but nobody apologizes and admits fault faster and more sincerely than i do.  they would tell you the same.  

i've given them the tools and demonstrated myriad plans, ways and options for proceeding; they will do what they can do for themselves. it is the hardest thing to watch them fail.  it is the greatest thing to see and sometimes be allowed to share in their triumphs. 

often being a mom absolutely eviscerates me (just with less of my face painted blue, and i never yell "FREEDOM", but sometimes cussing is involved).  ultimately worth it.  i absolutely have to remind myself of that regularly, though.